3 ppl 6am

ANEL · #1 (**permalink**) 12-31-2007, 03:28 AM

and no one wants to listen to each other speak yep u guessed it l2p on msn

ryoka/dave says:
this will do
jamie says:
oooo
jamie says:
cool
st0nedpenguin says:
http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/2261/wowscrnshot122707023532zm1.jpg
jamie says:
heheh like doing that now i know what it does
jamie says:
lol
ryoka/dave says:
ok, anel, tell stoneh your great idea
jamie says:
aye
jamie says:
m8
jamie says:
you know year before last back in the never never before the telling when i got drunk for 3 days and woke up an ordaned minister
jamie says:
well
jamie says:
i'm thinking for my new years resolution that this year i wan to be able to marry people i the uk
jamie says:
just having dramas finding out how to go about it atm on zee tinternets
jamie says:
tis be all top secret atm btw
st0nedpenguin says:
http://www.themonastery.org/
ryoka/dave says:
here's the uk marriage laws:
http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationships/couples/marriage/ukmarriagelaws
jamie says:
you shall now be called the oracle
st0nedpenguin says:
I'm actually signed up with that shit
st0nedpenguin says:
I have a certificate and everything
st0nedpenguin says:
It's awesome
st0nedpenguin says:
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND SHOE
ryoka/dave says:
he hasn't told me who he's going to wharry yet lol
ryoka/dave says:
marry..
ryoka/dave says:
not matt
st0nedpenguin says:
The ULC might only be the US though
st0nedpenguin says:
They have a fellowship and sell rings though
st0nedpenguin says:
So you might get to become a hobbit
ryoka/dave says:
£10 says he's going to marry scrunts
st0nedpenguin says:
What can I do as an ordained minister?

You will be able to perform any duties and ceremonies that an ordained minister of any other church or religion can perform. You will need to contact your local government authority on such matters for rights and requirements specific to where you live.
jamie says:
hmmm
st0nedpenguin says:
Could be a fun call
ryoka/dave says:
is it possible to marry a welshy and a sheep?
jamie says:
t looks like it is still only places that are regestered and not people as much
st0nedpenguin says:
"Hi, I became ordained on the internets, can I marry people in the UK?"
jamie says:
ney you cant bud
jamie says:
64 other countris thou
jamie says:
looked into that bit before
jamie says:
hmmmm
st0nedpenguin says:
Looks like you'll have to become a priest
st0nedpenguin says:
Get practicing on some kiddies
ryoka/dave says:
haha
jamie says:
i am a priest m8
jamie says:
like i said i was ordained a couple of years ago
jamie says:
i have since only ever baptised 7 ppl
jamie says:
all with guiness
st0nedpenguin says:
Oh, I thought you meant you woke up with an ordained minister
st0nedpenguin says:
lol
ryoka/dave says:
lmfao
jamie says:
no i am an ordained minister yo tit
jamie says:
lol
ryoka/dave says:
baptising people with guiness ;D
you're my new jesus
st0nedpenguin says:
You could just poo on their heads
st0nedpenguin says:
Same thing
ryoka/dave says:
my mind is too wild right now, imagining all sorts of shit that anel has been up to
jamie says:
what in the past?
jamie says:
problem is i tell people and normally they don't belive me or think im exaggerating
jamie says:
so i normally let other ppl tell me storis these days less effort
st0nedpenguin says:
I renounced the ways of the retarded shit an dbecame a hermit
jamie says:
what retarded shit?
jamie says:
the ulc stuff?
st0nedpenguin says:
Nah
st0nedpenguin says:
The ridiculous stuff of story
st0nedpenguin says:
Once you stop drinking the scary stories vanish
st0nedpenguin says:
It's awesome
jamie says:
not true mate
jamie says:
im worse sober when im bored
jamie says:
60 70% of my good stories are from when im stone cold sober
st0nedpenguin says:
There tends to be less vomit involved when sober
st0nedpenguin says:
Which is always nice
jamie says:
aye but then i dont think any of the silly things i hav done have ever involved puking anyway
jamie says:
im genrally confident enough to behave like a nutter sober or not
st0nedpenguin says:
Alcohol invariably involves vomit at some point for me
jamie says:
i just get my willy out more when im drunk
st0nedpenguin says:
Which is one of the reasons I avoid it if possible
ryoka/dave says:
and shagging a couch, stoneh
jamie says:
i rarely vom
st0nedpenguin says:
Any supposed humping was purely imaginary
st0nedpenguin says:
I was too busy being onconscious to hump Paulol's sofa
jamie says:
and if i do i just grab a glass of water an down it and then get another drink and carry on
ryoka/dave says:
we have video proof
ryoka/dave says:
!
ryoka/dave says:
just put your wrists under cold water
st0nedpenguin says:
Vomit isn't bad if you get it out the way early
st0nedpenguin says:
Putting my wrists under cold water would just mean I have cold hands while being sick
jamie says:
tbh like i said its like a once twice a year thing wih me tops
st0nedpenguin says:
Way to go
ryoka/dave says:
go learn some biology, stoneh ;x
jamie says:
and thats if i have drunk vodka with me polih mates
jamie says:
polish*
st0nedpenguin says:
Putting your wrists under water doesn't stop your stomach from wanting rid of vast quantities of foul chemicals
ryoka/dave says:
slows it down though
st0nedpenguin says:
That remedy is akin to the old "your face will stay like that if the wind changes!" line
ryoka/dave says:
so you can actually make it to a toilet in time
st0nedpenguin says:
But...
st0nedpenguin says:
If there's a tap
st0nedpenguin says:
There's something to be sick in
st0nedpenguin says:
Already
st0nedpenguin says:
So why bother!?
ryoka/dave says:
you're a complete retard
ryoka/dave says:
you put your wrists under cold water when you start to feel your stomach go funky
st0nedpenguin says:
WAIT ONE SEC WHILE I RUN TO THE TOILET TO RUN THE TAP SO I CAN MAKE IT TO THE TOILET
ryoka/dave says:
THENNNNNN
ryoka/dave says:
you puke later
st0nedpenguin says:
But you don't
st0nedpenguin says:
You put your hands under cold water
ryoka/dave says:
you're a fucking twat
st0nedpenguin says:
Then you have cold hands
st0nedpenguin says:
And vomit in .2s
ryoka/dave says:
you don't put your wrists under cold water when you're going to puke right there
jamie says:
you could just not be a pussy and learn to drink or learn to drink less or just controll it surely
ryoka/dave says:
that's fucking gay
ryoka/dave says:
you do it earlier than that, you thick fuck
st0nedpenguin says:
So like
ryoka/dave says:
LIKE 20 MINUTES EARLIER
ryoka/dave says:
god fuck you, prickface
st0nedpenguin says:
You stick some water on your hands 5 hours in advance and then magical pixies stop you from feeling sick ever again?
jamie says:
lol
st0nedpenguin says:
This really isn't working for me
jamie says:
no you tit
jamie says:
say for example
jamie says:
your in a chair and to fooked to move and you can fell it coming on putting your wrists on the cold drink would slow it down wouldnt it
st0nedpenguin says:
No
ryoka/dave says:
yes
st0nedpenguin says:
In fact
st0nedpenguin says:
I have a wrist phobia
ryoka/dave says:
coldness slows down your pulse, slowing down your body
st0nedpenguin says:
So it'd make me chunder right there and then
jamie says:
a wrist phobia
st0nedpenguin says:
But ignoring that
st0nedpenguin says:
It's not gonna make any noticeable difference
jamie says:
alex
ryoka/dave says:
you're gay
st0nedpenguin says:
You do realize the kinda temperature drops required to even begin cooling your extremities?
jamie says:
are you just considering this point in a selfishsort of way and assuming that if it doesnt work for you it wont work for anyone else either?
ryoka/dave says:
wrist phobia, fucking chop it off then you spastic emo
st0nedpenguin says:
A tap isn't gonna do diddly
jamie says:
generally placebos work pretty well
st0nedpenguin says:
No, I'm trying to understand what kinda complete insanity leads to the idea of mildly chilled wrists slowing the onset of vomit :x
jamie says:
in most medical tests for things like pain killers one in 10 of the tests is done with a placebo
ryoka/dave says:
slower pulse = slower body movements = not puking before you reach the shitter
jamie says:
well it does slow your pulse
st0nedpenguin says:
Yeah, but it doesn't work when the placebo is someone saying "lol cool your wrists down, srsly"
ryoka/dave says:
no fucking wonder you puke all the time
ryoka/dave says:
you retard
jamie says:
a placebo is something you belive will work making you convince your body it will too insit it?
st0nedpenguin says:
Exactly
st0nedpenguin says:
Why would anyone believe cold wrists would stop you feeling sick?
jamie says:
so if you belived cooling your wrists will work it will regardless
ryoka/dave says:
it won't stop you feeling sick you twit
ryoka/dave says:
it will slow your body movements
st0nedpenguin says:
I'd love to see some actual medical reasoning behind the idea
jamie says:
bear in mind if you have drunk so much your gonna be sick you will most likely belive it
ryoka/dave says:
meaning you won't puke as soon
st0nedpenguin says:
It won't even make a noticeable difference to your body temperature whatsoever
jamie says:
it will on your wrists
st0nedpenguin says:
And you don't feel sick because your arms are moving
jamie says:
lol
jamie says:
hahaha
st0nedpenguin says:
When was the last time you felt sick because you had warm wrists?
jamie says:
my arms are moving and i can see my wrist
jamie says:
bllllleeeuuuurrrgggghhh
jamie says:
mate we never said warm wrists make you sick in the 1st place just that it will help slow the process of you making tummy chunder all over autie sallys new beige carpet a we bit slower so you can aim it to get the best coverage
jamie says:
or run to the toilet like a sensable wee bunny
ryoka/dave says:
<3
st0nedpenguin says:
I think the time is definitely better spent just getting to the sodding toilet
st0nedpenguin says:
Rather than mincing about sticking old wives tales to your limbs
jamie says:
well thems placebos mr prison gay
jamie says:
saying that thou i have found smiling stops u from chundering if it is only a little bleurgh
jamie says:
anyway it looks like i'd have to start my own recognised religion or become a member of the council to marry people
st0nedpenguin says:
I think you're a pair of weirdass hippies with bizarre sickness remedies
jamie says:
your the stoner
st0nedpenguin says:
I don't want to buy any pegs
ryoka/dave says:
and you're the guy that pukes all the time
jamie says:
bloddy hippy if you ask me
jamie says:
damn you sko with your friendly advice
jamie says:
i spit on it
ryoka/dave says:
yeh, fuck me
jamie says:
/spits
ryoka/dave says:
I'm such a prick for giving some advice
jamie says:
/jumps up and down on friendly advice
jamie says:
well i spose it wasnt asked for thou so serves you rite
st0nedpenguin says:
I laugh in the face of your friendly advice
jamie says:
lol
jamie says:
i noticed
st0nedpenguin says:
Then vomit on it
st0nedpenguin says:
In the time it took you to explain the concept to my drunken form, I could have ran to the toilet!
st0nedpenguin says:
Or just thrown up on the floor if it's not my house
jamie says:
u drunk now thn?
st0nedpenguin says:
No, but I'd require persuading if it was in person and I was drunk
jamie says:
fair dues
jamie says:
i gg to work in a bit
jamie says:
gtg*
ryoka/dave says:
should probably get a haircut later if it's open today
st0nedpenguin says:
I should probably do the same
st0nedpenguin says:
I have helmet hair
ryoka/dave says:
oh oh
ryoka/dave says:
the "shave me?" girl is coming to my house later
st0nedpenguin says:
haha
st0nedpenguin says:
Get a translator this time
ryoka/dave says:
yeh, might need one
st0nedpenguin says:
I bet she was insulting you in some moomin language
ryoka/dave says:
no no, I actually think she ment to say that
st0nedpenguin says:
Some cruel heartless bastard probably told her that's the English fo rhello
ryoka/dave says:
from what I heard from her and her friend speaking japanese, it was quite similar to "shave me"
ryoka/dave says:
admittly, my japanese is shit, but I can still understand stuffs
st0nedpenguin says:
That'd be a pretty awesome plan actually
st0nedpenguin says:
Release an English lesson book/tape thing in Japan
st0nedpenguin says:
That's blatant lies
ryoka/dave says:
lol ;d
ryoka/dave says:
well, tonight I'll find out what she really ment
st0nedpenguin says:
And have entire busloads of Jap tourists riding round London greeting everyone by saying "HI, cuntface"
ryoka/dave says:
probably end up with me shaving her
st0nedpenguin says:
Maybe she was saying "save me"
jamie says:
jap girls have fucking hairy slits
st0nedpenguin says:
Due to being held hostage by strange Scottish perverts
st0nedpenguin says:
Then again if she was she probably wouldn't ask a strange Scottish pervert tosave her
st0nedpenguin says:
:x
jamie says:
its like they are hving a 70's revival or summin
ryoka/dave says:
exactly anel, that's why I'm going to shave her regardless of what the fuck she says
st0nedpenguin says:
Bring a hedge trimmer
jamie says:
good plan
jamie says:
ever heard of merkins?
st0nedpenguin says:
haha
st0nedpenguin says:
I'LL HAVE A WIG FO RMY SNATCH PLZ
st0nedpenguin says:
MAKE IT GINGER
jamie says:
v popular in japan merkins are
st0nedpenguin says:
Dear lord
jamie says:
no idea why tbh
ryoka/dave says:
wtf is it?
jamie says:
a pube wig
st0nedpenguin says:
How do they get their pants on?
ryoka/dave says:
rofl
jamie says:
seriously
st0nedpenguin says:
It'd be like having the harlem globetrotters from the 70s stuffed in your knickers
st0nedpenguin says:
The full squad
ryoka/dave says:
think I saw that on eurotrash or some crap, a pube wig
st0nedpenguin says:
PUBIS IS NUMBER ONE EXPORT OF KAZAKHSTAN
jamie says:
you'd have to get th jap flag done tbh
jamie says:
jap flag week every day then
st0nedpenguin says:
seriously
st0nedpenguin says:
You'd need to wear those tooth guard things rugby players wear
jamie says:
no wonder the school girl tenticle rapings is rife over there with there
st0nedpenguin says:
To save you from picking hairs out your teeth for the next 5 months
jamie says:
there with there? (sorry it lookslike im on crack again)
st0nedpenguin says:
Funny thing
ryoka/dave says:
schoolgirls are probably the only girls with less or no pube hair
st0nedpenguin says:
Japan has one of the lowest sex crime rates on the planet
jamie says:
i do intend to die of furrballs as i have stated many times before
jamie says:
2 in the pink one in the stink and all that
st0nedpenguin says:
Since you can pay for near anything legally
st0nedpenguin says:
Get off on fondling people on the train?
st0nedpenguin says:
Train simulator with fondle girls, go!
jamie says:
maybe a bit of hair pulling and strangling throw in for show
jamie says:
lol i remember wacthing that on euro trash when i was a kid and live tv wasn't out yet
ryoka/dave says:
well either way, I'm getting an shaved japanese girl later I hope
jamie says:
now that was like a gamblers wank that was
jamie says:
you never knew when a nob would pop up on the telly and flop u out
st0nedpenguin says:
haha
st0nedpenguin says:
Or LO LO FERRARI
st0nedpenguin says:
MY EYES
jamie says:
then youd give up and go back to wanking in socks looking for nipple slips in the next catalouge
jamie says:
much sae tbh
jamie says:
safer*
st0nedpenguin says:
There are many different ways of wearing a merkin, although most involve placing the merkin on the vulva or the scrotum.
st0nedpenguin says:
So like
st0nedpenguin says:
What the fuck other ways are there to wear a PUBIC WIG?
jamie says:
WIZARDS BEARD!!!
jamie says:
omg
st0nedpenguin says:
I like to wear mine on my left elbow
jamie says:
YOU SHALL NOT PASSS!
jamie says:
can see it now
ryoka/dave says:
rofl
jamie says:
gandalf wasnt actually anything but frodos cock with a merkin on
jamie says:
little fucker disgised his magic well
jamie says:
and his gay love for hobbits is now explained
jamie says:
glad i set that one straight
jamie says:
dirty frodo
jamie says:
and his grey bearded merkin
jamie says:
i just killed the conversation again didnt i?
ryoka/dave says:
no ;D
jamie says:
gud gud
jamie says:
soo errr
jamie says:
titti br when we go to leeds?
ryoka/dave says:
I'm in
jamie says:
i'll whisper it in scrunts ear when he's drunk
ryoka/dave says:
how much a lap dances?
ryoka/dave says:
are*
jamie says:
no idea
st0nedpenguin says:
Speaking of LOTR
st0nedpenguin says:
http://gimliwantstobattle.ytmnd.com/
jamie says:
but knowing welshie the fucking leg end that he is it wont matter
st0nedpenguin says:
And hairy vag, funnily enough
jamie says:
lol
jamie says:
that is a proper axe wound
st0nedpenguin says:
haha
st0nedpenguin says:
The music sets it off perfectly
jamie says:
bit at the top that looks like a tooth
st0nedpenguin says:
Must have had a small car parked in there for the last week
st0nedpenguin says:
The scary thing is, it looks like her entire front is covered in hair
jamie says:
lol imagine bending a girl over and being faced with that
jamie says:
helmit axe and all
st0nedpenguin says:
That'd be time to fucking run
ryoka/dave says:
stop, you're scaring me
jamie says:
would you kik it in the face 1st thou
st0nedpenguin says:
That thing would swallow you whole
ryoka/dave says:
I may even be faced with that tonight
st0nedpenguin says:
Fuck no
st0nedpenguin says:
It'd eat your leg
jamie says:
true ud prolly loose a foot
jamie says:
i dobt even macho man randy savage could take that beast on
jamie says:
she ust have had kids surely
jamie says:
lol
st0nedpenguin says:
http://www.fivefourteen.net/motivational-posters/doom%203.jpg
st0nedpenguin says:
haha
jamie says:
look a the belly hanging down behind the beard
st0nedpenguin says:
haha Shoe
st0nedpenguin says:
http://www.fivefourteen.net/motivati...discretion.jpg
ryoka/dave says:
totally fired
jamie says:
ite im off
jamie says:
ttfn
ryoka/dave says:
byebye
st0nedpenguin says:
bai
st0nedpenguin says:
I leave you with
st0nedpenguin says:
http://www.fivefourteen.net/motivational-posters/crack%20dog!!!.jpg
jamie says:
for some reason that made me think of crixx
jamie says:
any way chow
ryoka/dave says:
byes