Wife:

"We can do everything men can do and better, gimme the keys, and hold my handbag, i'll show you!"

"Right, this can't be too hard, hmm, check mirror for makeup....dam it's smudged,can fix that whilst i'm driving no matter. Let's see key in...turn...ahhh!! noise!...don't panic i can do this!"

"Right, pull up on the airfreshener...i think it's an airfreshener, cos when i push down on the lever the smell of burning goes away"

"Away we go, weeeeee!!! Look at me sisters, i'm doing it!...i'm....BOOOOOOOM!"

"Bill *tear*...BILL!!...that gate jumped out in front of me!! When are you going to fix that!...And all that rubbish in the car you've left, that completely put me off! I think we (you) should by a red one next a they seem to drive better, i want it sorted by the time i come home from shopping!"

Husband:

"fuck this, i'm going up the pub to shag the barmaid"

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